Bad Day for Banana Fish

Uncaring god, Fortune
Bestowing pleasure and pain
In unequal measure.
Good deeds and vice, both ignored.

When you have pain enough
She gives you a measure more,
But notices not
Your lamentations and prayers.

When least you expect it
Comes riches and good fortune.
Take credit undeserved,
For the god does not hear thanks.

Fortune’s gaze is fixed
On matters metaphysical.
The tears and joys of mortals
Are less than background noise.
Her tiniest unnoticed movement
Sinks ships, breaks hearts, and gives birth.

We traded Fortune for the Jewish god.
Uncaring Fortune for unknown purpose.
Pain should have a purpose.
Reward should be deserved.
It makes a better balance.

No god speaks to me.
Fortune is a stone weathered by time.
The hand of God is but paint on plaster.
Faith is but hope that we are not truly alone.

Knowing this,
I find myself on my knees,
Praying into the silence.
Give me the strength to do what’s right.
Give me the wisdom to find the way.
Bless the ones I love.